“She’s the kind of cat where if someone new walks in, she’s going to immediately run and hide and she probably won’t come out.

It sucks because she’s got this reputation of being a b**ch, but she’s just a scaredy cat. With me, she’s the sweetest, most loving cat. Well, usually.”

When you bring a new pet into your life, part of the experiences you expect to have include things like snuggles, active playtime, and moments where you both choose to spend time together.

But what happens when your pet does that with you… And not with anyone else.

Though the bond you form is strong, it feels like there’s no hope for others who wish to share that same joy and connection they see you having.

They might even get a hiss or a swipe 😬

That’s exactly what happened to Jess-Operations and Community Coordinator at Cotl-when she brought Frida home.

Because while Frida loves her human, she typically won’t be caught dead loving anyone else.

A peek at their future life together

“I was in the foster’s living room and Frida was just in the corner staring at me. She wouldn’t come up to me. She was just observing me from afar.

After over an hour, she eventually creeped up and smelled my toes, but that was the closest we got to interacting. But for some reason I thought, ‘This is nice. She’s a cat who does her own thing.’”

When Jess met Frida, she was at a point in her life where she could really use a companion.

A former teacher who worked long hours, she knew in her heart that getting a dog likely wouldn’t be a smart idea… Even though she was, without a doubt, a dog person.

Having lived with roommates who had cats, she knew they could be fun too, so she figured she’d consider getting one.

Browsing PetFinder, she found a sweet black cat with piercing yellow-green eyes at a foster home not too far away and decided to go meet her.

While being stared at from across the room with piercing eyes, Jess learned that she’s shy at first but with time and trust, she’s very loving.

The foster shared how Frida often slept next to her head or snuggled on the couch.

To Jess, this seemed perfect: a cat who wasn’t clingy and kept her distance, but also came in for quality time at the end of the day.

But would her experience be the same as the foster’s?

The challenges of loving a scaredy cat

“My sis would get so excited when Frida would actually choose to sit next to her, and would start giving her gentle pets. And then Frida would look at her like, ‘How dare you touch me,’ hiss, and walk away.

It’s challenging when you have a cat that shows you so much love and so much affection, but then literally has no patience for anybody else.”

When bringing Frida home, Jess knew there would likely be an adjustment period.

Hiding a lot at first, Frida slowly started to come out and explore once she realized she was staying in this new place.

With time, she became comfortable and roamed around her home, as any cat would.

And as long as things remained pretty constant, she was perfectly fine. But the moment anything felt different, she went back into nervous mode.

If the door opened and she heard someone’s voice, she’d bolt to where she could observe from afar. If that person stepped inside, she ran and hid.

It takes multiple visits from a friend or family member before Frida recognizes their voice and decides to give them a chance.

And if Jess goes out of town and has someone come by to care for Frida, they don’t exactly get a fun pet sitting experience.

“My friends want to give her love and comfort her, but she'll either hide or she'll sit there and hiss at them when all they're trying to do is care for her.

It's a little challenging in that regard, just trying to help her understand like, hey, you're safe. None of these people are going to hurt you.”

The love she has for her mom

“She loves being alone, but she loves being near me too. So, in those more quiet moments of the day, like when I'm reading in the morning or when I'm relaxing in the evening or when we go to bed, she loves being there.”

In the beginning, Jess spent a lot of time making sure Frida was comfortable, letting her set the pace and giving her a clear routine so she knew what to expect.

So while Frida isn’t too fond of most people, she absolutely loves her mom.

What the foster shared about her experience was exactly what happened with Jess. It just took time and patience, but Frida became the loving cat that Jess hoped for.

And as Frida became more comfortable, the ways she showed she was comfortable resulted in some fun, unexpected moments.

“She loves yelling at me. We might go back and forth 8 or 10 times, she’ll meow and I’ll respond, ‘What??’ and it just goes on until I get up and approach her then she runs away. She’s such a turd!”

Besides their full-on conversations, Jess noticed that Frida loved certain treats so much, she would become SO vocal for them.

Noting the drive for food, she wondered if she could teach her cat some tricks.

Not long after, Frida knew “sit,” “beg,” and “paw.” (Though “paw” is more of a lift into the air because Jess wouldn’t dare actually touch her little toe beans!)

And even though Frida seems to be in her own little world many days, she still lets her mom know how much she loves her through snuggles.

“She loves cuddling on my chest and she sleeps right next to my head every single night. She does her own little thing but it's nice to see that there’s this kind of connection where she feels like she can come up to me and she trusts me.

It's been really cool to see that firsthand from a cat. It’s like she knows I’m here to keep her safe.”

Bonding with a cat who likes no one else

“I’ve spent 11 years with her and she’s been with me through some pretty difficult moments.

Through all of that, she’s been a constant source of comfort where it’s like, no matter what happens, she’s there. And regardless of everything else, she’ll continue to love me… And yell at me when I don’t feed her fast enough.”

Having been around other pets before, Jess feels her bond with Frida is something more special. She truly had to earn this connection.

While some (most?) people would prefer to get a pet that will love them almost immediately, Jess sees their hard-earned bond in a different way.

She had to prove to Frida that she was safe and that things were going to be okay.

And in a way, that kind of validates Jess’ role as a pet parent… She did a “good enough” job to give Frida the things she needed to feel safe and comfortable.

In building this bond came a lesson in patience too, one that can be taken into everyday life.

Could she continue to love a pet and put herself out there, giving her the things she needs, but also being okay with the fact that the love might not be reciprocated at first?

“I think it ended up being a huge lesson that you can then take in other parts of your life. Can you do something knowing that you might not get something in return? And just do it because it's the right thing to do or because it benefits somebody else. I think we could use a little bit more of that in our lives, especially when everybody's so used to instant gratification.

Frida's love was not instant by any means, but I'd say in the end it was definitely worth it.”

A plan for your pet that just makes sense

When your pet’s a little picky about who they love, you want to make sure they feel safe and comfortable no matter who they’re with. That could require lots of time and patience.

But if you had to step away for a few days, would someone know exactly what to do to keep them happy and safe?

If something happened, could someone confidently step in and take your place?

Putting a Cotl plan in place ensures your pet is taken care of, just the way they’re used to, no matter what.

Discover how the process works or book a call directly with Sean, our founder and CEO, to see what a plan could look like for you.

Understand the process

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