“Nobody will replace Lexi but I wondered if she would become less frequent in my mind because Chewie’s here now. We’ve only had him six months but in that time, I still miss her so much.
They’re so different, so he won’t ever fill the space in my heart. That’s her space. He’s squeezed into it but he’s not replacing her… He’s just supplementing that space so it’s not so gaping.”
The bond we form with our soul pet is unlike anything else.
Feeling so connected to an animal and having them be our companion in life just makes everything feel complete.
But what happens after we say goodbye?
When Lori Downs–bookworm, author, thrifter, and Shih Tzu mom–lost her sweet soul dog, Lexi, she took some time to heal. But after a while, she knew she needed another dog in her life.
She was excited to once again experience that special love only a dog could give, but she also found herself wondering…
Could she ever love another dog as much as Lexi?
The wild adventure that brought Chewie home
“I was on spring break with my daughter and six of her friends and I got a phone call from the lady at the rescue saying they had a Shih Tzu that just came in… I said, ‘Okay, tell me more’ And she sent me the picture.
I’m there with six 16-year-old girls and they’re all excited because he’s adorable, but I was just like, ‘This dog looks familiar.” and this is where it gets really weird…”
When Chewie showed up in Lori’s life, she had recently lost her first dog, Lexi. And after experiencing the deep bond she could form with a dog, she knew she needed another.
Having grown up with cats and being used to the way they tend to do things on their terms, she had no idea what she had been missing out on.
After finishing graduate school and going through a breakup, she adopted Oreo. He became a steady dose of love and consistency in Lori’s life… And was there when she met her husband, got married, and had children too.
He was her crutch through many of life’s biggest moments and then became the beloved family cat. But it’s a different kind of love.
When he passed, the family went without having any pets for a long time but it never felt right. Her daughter then expressed she’d love to get a dog… And that’s where Lexi came in.
This sweet rescue Shih Tzu became everything to Lori. She loved how, unlike with many cats, there was a true sense of being needed with a dog.
“We were her pack. And I think just that mentality, and the fact that we are her life, you could really see it. We were her world.”
This new fondness of dogs made Lexi’s untimely passing due to illness even more painful.
But Chewie would do his best to help her heal.
The first time she saw his scruffy, disheveled face wasn’t actually when the rescue sent a photo… It was when her local open intake shelter took him in.
He was found running the streets in New Orleans, in her friend’s neighborhood.
After no one claimed him, K9 Rouge Rescue in Baton Rouge picked him up…
And since Lori and her daughter fell in love with him, he was about to make a trip back to New Orleans to be with their family.
He was skinny, tiny, and underweight and they knew they could give him the home he deserved.
Her son, who lives in Baton Rouge, picked Chewie up and took him back to her house. Her husband cared for him until she and her daughter came back from their trip a couple days later.
That’s when they really learned that life with Chewie would be a little different than expected.
Adjusting to an exciting life with Chewie
“As soon as we got home, it was a little deflating because I was like, mama's home, the dog should be so excited. But instead, it’s like Chewie was thinking, ‘Who's this lady? I've been with this guy for two or three days. This is my man. We’re already bonded… Who are you?’”
Since Chewie was welcomed into the family while Lori was away, her arrival wasn’t like the fun, exciting reuniting videos we may see on social media.
Chewie had no idea who she or her daughter were.
It didn’t take long for him to trust that these people were there for him too, and would be a source of love and stability in his life.
The process of getting him settled in was quite a bit different than what they had experienced with Lexi. She was a bit older and housetrained.
Chewie, on the other hand, was like a wild child. Estimated to be around 12 months old when they got him, he was still very much a puppy. An untrained one, at that.
He came to them never having a schedule or routine. When it was time to go, he simply went inside.
Right away, Lori started learning how to train dogs and got to work. That active participation in helping him acclimate only strengthened their ever-growing connection.
“It was all new for me… Doing lots of research on how to train a puppy, having patience, and recognizing that's really what he needed if we were going to be successful with him.
We're not the kind of people who think, ‘This dog's not working out so we’re going to give him back.’ No, you live with us, you're our dog. If we want this to work, we're going to have to put in the time and the effort.”
Chewie had been through a lot in his short life, but now he was learning what it meant to be someone’s special companion.
The differences that make him so lovable
“His quirks are funny and he clearly likes chewing. Who would have known that just naming him that really describes him?”
Being a puppy, Chewie definitely loved to chew. Turns out, it’s just part of who he is!
Like many dogs, even 20 minutes outside feels like a lifetime and he’s so happy when his humans come back inside.
With Chewie, however, they’re greeted promptly by him biting their ankles and jumping up to bite their fingers.
He also loves giving his toys the same treatment. Each squeaky toy, his favorite kind, gets three firm squeaks before he moves on to chew any appendage he can get his teeth around.
Seeing how content he is fills Lori’s heart with joy. Lexi loved toys, but not like this.
As he moves on from toys and into play mode, he bunny hops around the house making little grunty noises that never cease to make Lori smile.
Her daughter even taught him how to kiss her cheek. She’ll kiss his cheek first then turn her head, and he returns the love by licking hers.
And even though he came as a mess, once a routine was set in place, he never misses a beat.
If Lori is focused on something and Chewie randomly sits and starts barking at her, she only has to check the time to realize, oh it’s 4pm. Mealtime!
Even with all his fun quirks, he’s got a curious, gentle side too.
When Lori’s daughter was recently under the weather, Chewie seemed to notice. Instead of bouncing around all over and following Lori around the house, he stayed in bed with her daughter.
All Chewie’s fun, unique quirks are what make him so special to them.. But it’s also why Lori will never forget Lexi.
Loving the dog after your soul dog
“She’s always going to be in my heart and I miss when she does certain things. I end up comparing them, but not in a way where it’s like, ‘Why doesn’t he do what Lexi did?’ It’s because they’re so different. It’s like, ‘I love how she used to do ABC but I really love how he does XYZ.’
…It’s like if you have multiple kids, you love each one of them for their own idiosyncrasies and personalities. It’s the same with the dogs.”
Opening her heart to Chewie after loss allowed Lori to continue experiencing unconditional love in new ways.
And though the bond isn’t the same as the one she shared with Lexi, it’s still been special to her in its own way.
He seems to have a special relationship with everyone at home. With her daughter, they bond over rough housing. Chewie gravitates toward her husband because they had those first moments alone together.
For Lori, the bond really grew with their morning routine. As soon as the alarm goes off, Chewie waits in bed while she wakes up and gets ready. As soon as she’s back in the room to get her things, Chewie’s on the edge of the bed, jumping on her back and pawing at her to hurry!
Together, they head downstairs for breakfast, with Chewie spinning in excitement-filled circles all the way to his food bowl.
He eats while she drinks her coffee.
And after he goes outside to potty, he comes back in and they go to work… Into the office where she sits at her desk and he sits on his chair.
“I think to me, that’s where the unconditional love comes in. It’s the trust that I’m going to do the morning routine and be here with him. It’s that he knows we’ll go for a walk together. It’s the moments we sit on the couch and snuggle at lunch.”
After work, when Lori picks her daughter up from school, Chewie is always there to greet them with excitement. He barks and hops on their legs every single time.
And in the more quiet moments, he swap his energy for something more relaxed, trusting his human to give him his favorite belly scratches while he paws at the air with pleasure.
Throughout the day, those little routine moments keep them close and they help Chewie feel safe. There aren’t any unknowns in this house.
“He knows that this is his home and that we're going to take care of him. Whatever he had before, he's not going to have to go back out to that. He's going to have all the toys he wants, all the food and treats he wants, and all of that.”
Getting back to what really matters
“It’s been solidified. I am somebody that's always going to need some kind of furry critter in my house, and the sooner the better. In bringing him home, I know it definitely did something for my mental health.”
When Lexi was still alive, she was the center of the family. And without her, that aspect was missing.
Chewie managed to bring a sense of spark back into the family.
“It’s like we were just the planets floating around and without Lexi, we didn't have that thing to orbit around that just really shines bright. He’s that star for us, because he's always happy. He always brings a smile.”
It was the classic case of “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” and now Lori realized she always needs a dog in the family.
Chewie inspires her to slow down and know there’s no need to rush life. He encourages patience, especially toward a little companion who relies on her for love and safety.
And while Lori had been good at practicing these things in life, they’d been pushed aside once Lexi left.
Chewie’s presence has been a great reminder to get back to the things that truly matter.
While the world is rushing around, it feels good to take those slower moments together, sitting with him, playing or cuddling for a bit, or even grooming him.
And since he’s young, there’s plenty of time to savor these everyday moments that just make life better.
“At around 18 months, he's still a baby. I'm looking forward to seeing how he evolves over time, what he grows into.”
Every pet is different, and it’s those differences that makes them so special to us!
But if you had to step away for a few days, would someone know exactly what to do to keep them happy and safe?
If something happened, could someone confidently step in and take your place?
Putting a Cotl plan in place ensures your pet is taken care of, just the way they’re used to, no matter what.
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