Multi-Pet Households: Preventing Jealousy
Our Cotl team member, Jess, had a problem: “When my cat realized she was now roomies with a dog, she developed her signature death stare. And that’s exactly how she looked at her unchosen companion for nearly a year. Would they ever accept each other??”
Sounds about right. Some cats just don't like change... 😹
It’s hard to love just one pet. So in many cases, animal lovers (like you, and us!) often find that we have to figure out how to introduce new buddies to each other. This might look like:
Combining two families into one
Bringing a new pet into an established home
To us, this is a time to celebrate! And in making sure the new addition feels comforted and welcomed, it’s easy to shower them with love, affection, and extra treats.
No harm done, right?
But our resident pet notices. And in some cases, they’re not ready to celebrate just yet.
If we’re not careful, they might even start to feel a little jealous.
Wait, is this behavior really jealousy?
This scenario brings up a good point. Do pets actually get jealous?
Or do we humans project our emotions and mental complexities onto them and just THINK they do?
Turns out, pets–especially dogs and cats– can, in fact, exhibit jealousy. For the sake of this conversation, we’ll say jealousy is “feeling insecure or threatened about attention or resources, especially when directed toward another animal.”
And according to a handful of studies, it’s a real thing. Not only do they get jealous, but they can also recognize unequal treatment and notice if a companion is receiving things they’re not.
If it happens once or twice, no biggie. But if this becomes a habit? It can lead to undesired behaviors as your offended pet seeks attention.
This is where we might see actions like:
🐾 Seeking closeness or physical touch
🐾 More vocalizations like barking or whining
🐾 Growling toward the other pet
🐾 Pushiness or aggression
🐾 Protective behaviors like resource guarding
🐾 Bathroom accidents
If these behaviors are out of the norm for your pet, you’ll likely notice them right away.
And because you’re the awesome pet parent that you are, you can make some changes to address–or even prevent–them from the start.
Start things off on the right foot (well, paw)
Bringing new pets together is exciting for the humans, but it’s usually a little more stressful for the pets.
Whether you’re thinking about expanding your family or you’ve noticed some new behaviors since your last addition, making sure those first moments your pets spend together are productive–and feel safe–will make all the difference.
Introduce dogs in neutral territory.
Grab a friend or family member so each person handles one dog, and head out on a walk together.
Allow the dogs to come near and smell each other, but also keep some distance between them so neither feels threatened.
Look at their body language. Are they tense and stiff? Do they seem relaxed?
Cats need safe spaces.
When introducing cats, make sure each cat has a safe space they can access. Keep their food and water separate. And a good rule of thumb is to have at least one litter box per cat.
If you're introducing cats and dogs, always keep the dog on a leash to start so you can control the situation, if needed.
Note: If a dog displays signs it wants to chase or hunt a cat, that's not jealousy. That's a serious, dangerous predatory instinct that needs to be addressed differently.
Regardless of who’s being introduced, taking things slow will help them acclimate better. Also, keep food and water dishes in separate places so they can eat in a safe space. That’ll help too!
Want a real-life example? Here’s how things went with the death-stare kitty we mentioned at the beginning:
“I knew Frida (cat) would have a hard time adjusting. So we started by putting a baby gate in the hallway and covering it with a blanket. That gave each pet a safe space. During the day, Frida got the bedroom and bathroom, and Sconnie (dog) hung out in the living room and kitchen areas.
Each night, Sconnie came into the bed and Frida hung out in her secret hiding spot in the closet (she still loves it, to this day).
Over time, I started adjusting the gate. First, I would open it slightly so Frida could look into the room or come through as she pleased. Then, I removed the blanket. As she started coming into the living room where I was working (even with Sconnie there!), I decided to remove the gate completely. This took over 9 months.
Now, at bed time, Frida has learned that bed = safe. And she’ll sometimes be laying a mere 3 feet from Sconnie as they relax.
If anything, this whole process has taught me to be patient. It’ll happen. But it needs to happen on THEIR terms, with our help and support.”
Strengthen their bond with each other… and with you.
As things settle and the pets become more comfortable being around each other, they’re going to start noticing how you and other humans interact with them.
One of the most powerful things you can do as the owner, leader, alpha, whatever you want to call it, is create routines, establish expectations, and respect boundaries.
By doing this, your pets will feel more connected to you and they’ll start to develop a better relationship with each other too.
When you’re ready to strengthen your bond with your dog or cat, there’s a lot of ways to do it!
-Training. Train your pets separately at first, then together.
-Physical affection. Learn each pet’s favorite spots for pets, scratches, and rubs.
🐾Playtime. Gather the crew for fetch or enrichment activities, and actively participate.
🐾Grooming. Frequent gentle brushing (with treats!) keeps them feeling good too!
🐾Routine. From morning potty breaks to daily meals, create a schedule and stick to it.
🐾Boundaries. Sometimes, pets might just want space. Give them a safe place to retreat to, when needed.
