Dogs vs. cats: is there even a difference?

What are you actually looking for?

If you’ve ever experienced a cat’s affectionate slow blink or the way a dog looks up at you in complete admiration, then you know what true love is.

But there’s something about the way these pets show us love that makes people choose one over the other.

Typically, we choose a pet that aligns with our lifestyle. Active and adventurous? Get a dog. Independent and introverted? Get a cat.

But what about those couch potato dogs that just want to snuggle all day? Or those cats that go on hiking trips right alongside their human?

It’s not always black and white.

In many cases, whether we realize it or not, we choose a pet whose bonding style gives us what we’re looking for.

Why people choose one over the other

You might have heard someone (maybe even yourself!) say, “oh, I’ll never be a dog person” or “I just don’t like cats.” But what makes us decide what we prefer?

Usually, these are some pretty big factors:

Personality

The whole dog vs cat debate isn’t just a hot topic within the pet community–it’s sparked interest of researchers too. Studies have shown that dog people tend to be more extroverted and conscientious. And cat people? They tend to be more introverted, curious, and open minded. 

Of course, there are exceptions, and none of this is completely set in stone. But it’s interesting to see how a human’s overall vibe can help them determine which pet they prefer.

Lifestyle

A lot of people who are adventurous, outdoorsy, or more active tend to gravitate toward dogs. After all, who doesn’t love a walking buddy?

Those who are more independent or lead quieter lifestyles might feel more aligned with cats.

Companionship 

Dogs give off that best buddy vibe, looking up to their human for direction on what to do next. And they usually happily follow through (because, treats).

Cats, with their more independent nature, might feel more like a roomie, or an “equal” (or let’s be honest, the ruler of the household).

Even taking these into consideration, there’s still something deeper that we feel. And when we dig into the bond itself, it starts to make more sense why we choose one over the other.

When the bond began

When we start looking into why we choose one over the other, research suggests there’s a deeper reason behind our perfect pet.

For thousands of years, humans and now-domesticated animals have been evolving alongside each other.

We believe dogs were domesticated 12,000-15,000 years ago (but some argue it might be more like 20,000-40,000!) and while it was often thought that cats were first domesticated in ancient Egypt, turns out, they might have been hanging out with humans at least 9k years ago.

Either way, as humans moved away from hunter-gatherer societies into agricultural ones, the presence of these furballs proved to be mutually beneficial. 

Dogs helped provide protection, herd livestock, and keep campsites clean while cats did what they do best: catch the disease-ridden pests that no one wants around.

Life almost seemed incomplete without at least one of these animals showing up in daily life. Slowly, humans developed a sense of respect for these creatures and how they improved their lives.

They also started to play a larger role in the domestication process, at least, with dogs. They’d breed dogs for specific traits, usually for more “working” purposes and not for looks. Eventually, this led to over 200 breeds of dogs (not including the endless mixes and cross breeds).

Cats though, well, they kind of domesticated themselves. Seeing opportunities for easy food, they chose to live among humans. While human did have a hand (and still do) in breeding for specific traits, it wasn’t to the extent to that of dogs. Out of the 70+ cat breeds, they’re still very similar to their wild relatives. With some dogs, not so much (pugs started as wolves?!).

Over time, as our lives became increasingly intertwined, dogs and cats started to become companions, friends, and trusted members of our families.

From there, our bonds began.

Why the bond just feels right

Because pets don’t judge us and they love us unconditionally, their intuitive nature offers us a form of emotional support. 

Something as simple as slowly petting a dog or cat helps calm us down and studies definitely back up that it’s true. Interacting with pets can reduce cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and increase dopamine (the feel-good hormones associated with happiness and well-being) and oxytocin (the "love hormone" associated with bonding, social recognition, and trust).

Over time, our bonds with each of these animals began to form certain characteristics and emotional/behavioral dynamics that distinguished one over the other.

The modern human-dog bond

When we think of the typical human-dog bond, it tends to be more overt and interactive (and let’s be honest, needy). Think: loyal, expressive, and deeply affectionate vibes.

🐾Dogs often see their human as a secure base, similar to a child-parent dynamic.
🐾They respond to tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language.
🐾Dogs thrive on social structure and consistency—many feel calmer when they understand their “role.”
🐾They’re typically eager to please and may perform tasks or tricks to earn approval.
🐾Walks, play, training, or adventures create a rhythm of co-experience.
🐾Their strong attachment can also lead to distress when left alone—highlighting the depth of connection.

The modern human-cat bond

Typically human-cat bonds are more subtle, respectful, and trust-based—these bonds rely more on autonomy and mutual understanding.

🐾Cats often need time and consistency before fully opening up.
🐾They initiate contact more often than respond to it. (Think: head bumps, rubbing against legs, kneading.)
🐾Sharing space peacefully—like sitting nearby—is a big sign of comfort and connection.
🐾Feeding, play, or cuddle time at consistent times builds trust.
🐾Cats use tail language, eye blinking (aka “cat kisses”), and body orientation to show love.
🐾When you respect their space and boundaries, they’re more likely to seek closeness on their own terms.

Why understanding your pet’s bond matters

Sometimes, it takes everything in our power to not smother our pets with hugs and cuddles. We know we do it from a place of love, admiration, and maybe a healthy obsession… but that doesn’t mean they love it!

Understanding the typical characteristics between your pet’s bonding style can help you communicate to them in a way they’ll be more receptive to.

It can allow you to meet their needs and ultimately, deepen your connection.

And by understanding that both cats and dogs show love and affection, granted, in different ways, opens up a discussion about how one isn’t better than the other–they’re just different.

And hey, you might even find yourself appreciating both types of pets more after learning how they show love 😉